Saturday, November 17, 2007

How to be a Bad Raid Leader

Fresh idea from the Google top searches. Eleven ways to be a bad raid leader.

  1. Be Steadfast in your understanding of Group Composition - Blizzard designs raid encounters to work with a very focused group. If you absolutely need a rogue for a particular encounter, please do not let your raid sway you into putting something else into that position. Clearly as the raid leader you have a better understanding of the encounter and know that another DPS class won't work there.
  2. Make sure people follow their Classic Raid Roles - Priests, paladins & druids heal, warriors tank, everyone else provides DPS. It worked in Molten Core--it works now too.
  3. Stick to your Loot Distribution Scheme - The loot rules were written ahead of time and shouldn't be altered arbitrarily. Who cares if you are sharding a serious upgrade for a shaman? If he doesn't have the DKP, it gets sharded. Besides, it'll help the guild bank.
  4. Punish Bad Performance - If someone isn't cutting it in their assigned role, kick them from the raid. If you have the power, you may want to kick them from the guild as well. It'll make a leaner stronger guild in the end.
  5. Take control of voice chat - Please don't let your raiders chitchat on voice chat. Voice chat is a tool for successfully executing a raid. You don't play around with serious tools. If they can't comply, use your power to mute them. Besides shouldn't the raiders want to listen to you and only you?
  6. Be strict about time - If people can't show up on time for a raid, start typing /gkick. In the end, you'll have a core of serious folks who will better be able to succeed now that the dead weight is gone.
  7. Call out offenders by name - Nothing fixes poor performance like a little public humiliation. You'll be surprised how quickly your team turns around.
  8. Use Profanity - They're all adults right. Nothing fosters good will like calling someone an "Effing Idiot" or a "Gee Dee Moron" or even better a "Stupid Em Effer." They'll rectify their ways so as not to be the target of this right quick.
  9. Keep them in the Dark - They don't need to worry about the upcoming fights. They just need to keep doing their jobs and let you worry about the boss fight. Especially don't ask for input. You're the raid leader, that's your job. Their jobs are to do what they're told.
  10. Take the Best Stuff for Yourself - Being a raid leader is a thankless job. You should get first pick of the loot. It's the only way you're getting paid for your raid leadership.
  11. Don't Give Breaks - Your raiders should be prepared to perform you commands at a moment's notice for the length of the raid. They shouldn't need breaks. If they "make their own breaks" by being AFK, kick them. Additionally, don't use a readycheck. They should be ready without you asking


  12. Ignore Everything in this list - There is not a better way to lose your entire raiding staff than following the first eleven points in this list to the letter.


Pike said...

Haha, that was great.

K said...

Hey, that describes me! What a glowing compliment that you post about my raid style. :)