Friday, May 23, 2008

Ten Commandments of WoW

(Author's Note: This is not intended as offensive, sacrilegious or blasphemous to anyone. The Ten Commandments, though, make a nice frame of reference for just about anyone to discuss ten rules. I wrote these rules in the general style of the Ten Commandments. My additional interpretation is below each Commandment. If anyone is offended by this post, I apologize in advance.)

I. I am your Guild. You shall have no other Guild before me. You shall not make an application to another guild.
(If you are unhappy with your guild, by all means find a new guild. But it's just tacky to be doing that looking while you're still in your guild. It'll look better to both your current and future guild if you have the guts to quit while you look.)

II. You shall not take the Guild's name in vain.
(Don't do something to make your guild look bad. You are the representation of your guild out there in the wide world. The world of guild leaders is remarkably small, and if you are an ass, word will get around.)

III. Remember the Raid Day to keep it.
(This means not signing up if you're not going to be there. Don't make someone hold a spot that you have no intention of filling. It holds up the entire guild. Also, be ready at least a while, like 15-30 minutes in advance. Being ready means having repaired your armor and have everything you need to raid with you.)

IV. Honor your Guild Leader and Raid Leader.
(Both of these people work very hard to make life good for the guild. Don't do anything to make their lives harder. This means following directions in raids and not causing drama in guild. Don't do anything that makes these already overworked individuals work ANY harder.)

V. You shall not kill (unless it be the next in the kill order).
(Know the kill order. Follow the kill order. Assume that those assigned crowd control will continue to control their mobs until it's time to kill the mob. Please don't "help out" by dotting a hunter's trap or mage's sheep target. It just makes the mob uncontrollable.)

VI. You shall not raid with another Guild. Honor thy raid ID.
(If you are absolutely positive your guild won't need you, then go ahead and break this one. But seriously, you should be most interested in getting your closest allies the furthest along. This means not getting saved to a Karazhan on Thursday when the guild might need you on Friday.)

VII. You shall not Ninja Loot.
(Loot is the single largest cause of all drama. Loot is the one thing that will cause normally peaceful folks to act up in anger. Don't be the cause of asshattery.)

VIII. You shall not bear false witness against your Guild mates.
(They're your guild. Don't tell lies about them. It's just common sense.)

IX. You shall not covet another's mobs.
(There are plenty of mobs in the game. Don't intentionally steal someone else's kills. I don't care if you are horde and they are alliance, it's just not cool.)

X. You shall not covet another's veins or herbs.

(If you see someone fighting RIGHT NEXT to an ore vein or herb, assume that they intend to use it as soon as they're done fighting. This goes a long way to not tarnishing your guild's name ore reputation.)


You wake it, you tank it. said...

Shougeki is working up to Exalted with SSO so while doing his dailies, the Rich Adamantite Vein that pops at the entrance to Murloc area was in range so I killed the caster Naga and mined. Then up comes a rogue. Vondrek, Vandrek, something like that. And tries to mine it...while I'm mining. I make my next mining action a _shift_click to disable my auto loot and stay in the loot position.

Shougeki: Really? You're trying to ninja a vein I'm -actively- mining.
Rogue: LoL.
Shougeki: Fine by me. I'll just stay here. I've got a Tivo full of Law and Order.
Rogue: I don't even mine! *stays right next to mine*
Shougeki: Yes you do. i saw you swinging the Pick!
Rogue: LoL
Shougeki: They're saying good bye to Jesse Martin this season. I'm excited to see what happens. It's going to be great. My Tivo is full to the brim with good old Hang 'Em High Jack McCoy action.
*Rogue gets attacked by the mob respawn*
*Shougeki finishes his mining. Mine despawns*

Shougeki: Opps!
Rogue: *homophobic epitaph*
Shougeki: Stay classy. Smell you later.

I'm sticking with Bill Hicks on this one. "People suck, and that's my contention. I can prove it on a scratch of paper with a pen. Give me a fuckin' Etch-a-sketch, I'll do it in three minutes. The proof, the fact, the factorum. I'll show my work, case closed. I'm tired of this back-slapping 'aren't humanity neat?' bullshit. We're a virus with shoes, OK? That's all we are."

neshura said...

Ew. Seriously.

The 0th commandment is, "It's my 15 bucks a month."

Everything else is role-playing. The difference between duty and obligation is lost on mostly everyone.

Pike said...

Heehee. I like the list.

Selmatrixie said...

Love the list, now to get everyone to abide by it.